Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a ‘Shhh’ button? One that ‘Shhh’ed all the shit.

Particularly the shaking. After a few good days, it’s back. I feel like I’ve climbed a mountain and been kicked back down. I promised myself I wouldn’t be fooled and get too carried away, but it’s happened anyway.

‘Shhhh’ to all the thinking it triggers.

I was thinking that maybe I ‘ran before I could walk’? Then this song came on. Weird those kind of coincidences.

This song sums up my thoughts better than I can right now:

‘Shoulda’ by Jamie Woon

Walked when I shoulda run
Ran when I shoulda walked
And don’t I know it
And don’t I know it

You get inside me
even when you ain’t beside me
And I go into hiding
And I know I never leave it alone

‘Nother round of if onlys
Of all the ways you could know me
How I’d take time going slowly
Over time that I did on my own

Still, I walked when I shoulda run
And I walked when I shoulda walked
And don’t I know it
Well, I walked when I shoulda run
And I walked when I shoulda walked
And don’t I know it

And your heads in the ocean
Too deep to know where you’re going
Hoping time can be frozen
And you’ll end up where you really belong

But the days keep on rolling
Reliving different moments
And the hurt is unfolding
Every day that we do and we don’t

Still, I walked when I shoulda run
And I walked when I shoulda walked
And don’t I know it
Well, I walked when I shoulda run
And I walked when I shoulda walked
And don’t I know it

Sign for what’s been
Sign for what’ll never been

A line under what’s been
Align for what what’ll never be

When the tears are collected
I pray that we are regretless
You and I the connected
You and I in the blood and the bone

Now Shhhh…please.

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