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Switching Off
Sober for October At the end of September, I decided that I needed to do something different to feel better. After months of various illnesses and just feeling extremely run down, I have committed to ‘Sober for October’. The first day I wrote this: Day 1 What the actual f**k am I doing? I’m run…
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Adulthood
Welcome to Adulthood. I didn’t realise the gravity that not being able to drive truly held over me until I passed today. While I watched the majority of my friends pass at 17-18 years old; I failed – twice. I then went to uni and after moved to London and it was not a priority.…
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Sacrifices
23 days into 2022 and how am I doing? Not the best. After the first week, I started to rate myself against the P’s of my New Year Resolutions and I was massively kind to myself. Another week on and I started to feel the January Blues. All coinciding with “Blue Monday” – a day…
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Derailed – My Ps
I went into last year with the motto: ‘Pro-active’. And I chose ‘Pro-active’ specifically over positive as I felt that: 1) I’m never going to be a positive person. I’m a glass half empty person and I’m cynical and being negative is my way of protecting myself – that’s not a mind-set that you can…
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The Best Medicine
“It’s like it envelops me and pulls me back down to earth. And then immediately elevates me to new happier places. Banishing the demons.”
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Fear and Loneliness
Fear Fear like love takes many forms. The fear of doing something new, the fear of losing someone, the fear of making a mistake – they are all different. There are imagined fears and real ones. Neither is any less severe or scary. This blog started as a way of testing my writing skills and…
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Grounded
As I reach 3-months off coming all medication, my body & mind are slowly starting to settle. There has however been a mix of emotions plaguing me as my mind learns to cope with the influx of pure, raw thoughts and feelings. One of those that I didn’t expect is homesickness. For the first time…
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A letter never meant to be delivered (PS. Please help me get out of prison)
There is a fellow blogger who’s whole blog is a catalogue of ‘letters never to be delivered’ – letters that you write to help YOU work things out, not for the recipient to ever read – and although it’s not the first time I’ve heard of the concept, this is the one of the first…
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Misdirection
I have an admiration and a fear of magic – the power of making someone feel, think & believe. Mirrored in the arts; artists, musicians and actors like magicians have the capability to direct, divert and deceive. Magic in particular often uses misdirection. Using it to make a mundane action, exciting, mystical, and magical. Over…
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Colours of my mind
I have never been able to sleep very well. From not being able to get to sleep to not sleeping through the night. Tonight is a bad night. I know that I should not think about it in that way as It will not help the situation, ‘Positive thinking’ It’s all about ‘Perception’ and all…
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Yellow is Dead 