As I reach 3-months off coming all medication, my body & mind are slowly starting to settle.
There has however been a mix of emotions plaguing me as my mind learns to cope with the influx of pure, raw thoughts and feelings.
One of those that I didn’t expect is homesickness. For the first time in a long time I feel that I have a stable home. I’ve got a roof and a bed to call my own (as much as it can be right now!), the most wonderful partner to come home to and share my life with, I’m in London and I feel settled with my family.
This was a different kind of homesickness.
One that didn’t realise I had until I felt better. Until started to reach out & re-connect with people. Until after those interactions a sense of calm swept over me.
I was a longing for those I’ve known for a long time. People I grew up with. People who know me and still like me. People who have impacted my life.
It’s overwhelmed me how much communicating with old friends/family back into my life has grounded me.
Reminding me of me.
These people validate me.
In a world full of “new” where my mind has not yet been this free, I needed my anchors to feel comfort & belonging. To ground me.
This is a reminder to myself…
This is real. Not a dream. Not a holiday. Real life. Enjoy.